Manitoba Weather

10C = Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Manitobans plant gardens.


5C = Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Winnipegers sunbathe.


3C = Italian cars won't start. Winnipegers drive with the windows
down.


0C = Distilled water freezes. Winnipeg's water gets thicker


-5C = Torontonians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Manitobans throw
on a T-shirt.


-10C = Quebecers begin to evacuate the province. Manitobans go
swimming.


-20C = Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Manitobans have the
last cookout before it gets cold.


-25C = People in Vancouver cease to exist. Manitobans lick flagpoles.


-30C = Calgarians fly away to Mexico. Manitobans throw on a light
jacket


-40C = Hamilton disintegrates. Manitobans rent some videos.


-60C = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Winnipeg Girl Scouts begin selling
cookies door to door.


-80C = Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic. Manitoban Boy Scouts
postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.


-100C = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Winnipegers pull down
their earflaps.


-114C = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Manitobans get frustrated when they
can't thaw the keg.


-183C = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Manitoba cows
complain of farmers with cold hands.


-273C = ALL atomic motion stops. Manitobans start saying "Cold 'nuff
for ya?"

-300C = Hell freezes over. The Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup.